Worst Picnic Ever
by RenaRoo
Summary: Jason wasn't invited to this outing. He should have left them out to dry. For some reason... he didn't.


dkalban prompted: Dick, Tim, and Damian try to have a brothers' day out and Jason is upset that he isn't invited. But of course a villain is around to ruin their day off anyways ;)

Batman and related characters © DC Comics  
story © RenaRoo

 **Worst Picnic. Ever.**

Dick's rubbing the raw rings on his wrists as he does his best to stroll over to the younger sibling. Like Jason wouldn't immediately identify that limp he's hiding.

There's a picnic basket in the middle of the park. Or was. Chances remain that it's somewhere else. On fire.

It's not like he particularly cares. Jason wasn't invited on this outing.

As his so-called brother approaches, Jason digs the heel of his boot into the unconscious man's shoulder and pulls back just a bit tighter on the rope. It gets a grunt that sounds like it's echoing out of a tomato sauce can from the villain.

The oldest of Bruce Wayne's children stops and raises his brows. "Alright, I can admit when I'm impressed."

"You should be more impressed with the fact that those two," Jason responds with a less-than-subtle nod to where Damian and Tim, their once proper clothes singed and disheveled, are sprawled on the grass, "are basically cuddling. Like dorks. Shouldn't you be eating this up? I feel like that's something you would be doing. Maybe you fell on your face for once. I wouldn't know. I was too busy taking care of business."

At the corners of his mouth, Dick's grin tightens. He's trying very hard to not shine his pearly white, toothpaste smile at Jason. Trying to make the gesture even more "appropriate."

It then occurs to Jason that Dick is going to try and make this sincere. He's going to make this a moment and suddenly Jason Todd regrets leaving his crappy apartment before two in the afternoon.

"They're worn out. You know. Firefly," Dick says with a look to the unconscious man. "We got surprised."

"Yeah," Jason agrees, remembering his morning jog getting interrupted when he noticed pillars of fire from the worst park in Gotham. "Good thing I was in the neighborhood. You know. My neighborhood."

His neighborhood. Where his supposed brothers were having a picnic right out of a Victorian novel in the worst park in town.

Jason assumes that the only logical reasoning for this is that they meant it to mock him.

He's about to tell Dick exactly where he and the other Bat Tots can shove their gratitude when Dick suddenly moves far too fast for Jason to react to. It's completely unexpected.

In fact, Jason is so taken aback that he drops his hold on the rope he is using on Firefly and kicks off his caught prey. Which serves only to make the situation worse because suddenly he's in a full Dick Grayson hug.

How are his feet off the ground? Dick's shorter than him, that doesn't even make sense-

"Hey hey hey!" he shouts, joints locked up in ways he hasn't felt since… since, well, when he was thirteen and Dick did this to him last time. "What are you doing?"

The embrace is bordering on painful, and Jason is becoming irrationally concerned for Dick's wounds when he really shouldn't care.

"Damian had never been on a picnic," Dick murmurs, almost nonsensically into Jason's neck. "And then I found out Tim had never been on a picnic. And I thought 'does that mean none of my siblings have been?' And we came out to the East End to find you. Because, holy shit, Jay. How do I not take my siblings on picnics? We were even going to Skype Cass. I have to call her. Let her know she can go back to sleep."

Having enough of this, Jason shoves Dick's chest and sends the older man almost into a tumble. It doesn't take much for Jason to ignore the pang of guilt when he remembers the limp.

"Would you knock it off? What are you babbling about? Why the fuck would you try to have a picnic in this part of town?"

Dick makes a face. "We figured you'd come around eventually."

The amount of stupid in that statement stunned Jason enough that he felt the need to physically shake his head. He then levels a look at the ridiculous older man. "How does that even make sense?"

When Dick begins waving his hands as his mouth goes off, Jason realizes this entire rescuing thing may have been a mistake. "Jay! Do you realize that halfway here, we figured out that none of us knew where you were? Or how to get a hold of you? Not even Tim! He lives for that kind of information sleuthing and we had no way of knowing how to ask you - "

"If I've been on a picnic."

"Yes."

For a moment, they stood there, Dick shifting his weight a little bit to his left foot to keep steady. It is… eerily silent despite distant sirens of all sorts.

"Have you?" Dick finally prompts.

Jason looks down, sucking in as much air as he possibly could. "No."

"Jason."

"No, Dick."

"Would you like to have a picnic?"

The Red Hood glares at Dick before turning his attention back to Firefly. Still out. Damn it.

"We'll have it on the Manor lawn. Alfred will make us food - "

"Okay, fine! Jesus, Dick!"


End file.
